[LOCAL LOGO 1] Ah Beng's Ruin Sorbees
Tan Ah Beng
N21: Choa Chu Kang Pty. Ltd.
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This once nominated "Best email of 1997" has been slightly modified as well as html-ized. It was adapted from a Far East Economic Review article.

Ah Beng Mor nee. Ruin sorbees. (Good morning, room service.)
Ang Moh Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.
Ah Beng Rye... Ruin sorbees... mor nee! Djewish to odor sunteen?? (Right... room service... Good morning! Do you wish to order something??)
Ang Moh Uh... yes... I'd like to order some bacon and eggs.
Ah Beng Ow July den? (How do you like them?)
Ang Moh What??
Ah Beng Ow July den...? Pry, boy, pooch? (How do you like them...? Fried, boiled, poached?)
Ang Moh Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
Ah Beng Ow July dee baychem... creased? (How do you like the bacon... crisped?)
Ang Moh Oh, bacon. Crisp will be fine.
Ah Beng Hokay. An San tos? (Okay. And some toast?)
Ang Moh What?
Ah Beng San tos. July San tos? (Some toast. Do you like some toast?)
Ang Moh I don't think so.
Ah Beng No? Judo one toes?? (No? You don't want toast??)
Ang Moh I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means.
Ah Beng Toes! toes...! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping weed bother? (Toast! toast...! Why you don't want toast? How about English muffin with butter?)
Ang Moh English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying "Toast." Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
Ah Beng Weed bother? (With butter?)
Ang Moh No... just put the bother on the side."
Ah Beng Wad? (What?)
Ang Moh I mean butter... just put it on the side.
Ah Beng Copy? (Coffee?)
Ang Moh Sorry?
Ah Beng Copy... tea... mill? (Coffee...tea...milk?)
Ang Moh Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
Ah Beng One Minnie. As ruin torino fee, strangle ache, creased baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, an copy... rye?? (One minute. As soon as room (service) is free, scrambled eggs, crisped bacon, toasted English muffin with butter and honey on the side, one coffee... right?)
Ang Moh Whatever you say.
Ah Beng Tendjewberrymutts. (Thank you very much.)
Ang Moh Tendjewberrymutts lah.
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